Retired marine combat veteran turned televised painter, Sergeant Rob Cross, with absolutely no signs of repressed PTSD (we swear), will educate you in the discipline of art through a rigorously tested methodology. Rob employs strategic yelling, tactical insults, and long, cold, unbroken stares directly into the camera lens. Lab results from our test audience yield a consistently greater-than-zero improvement in artistic performance acuity after six months of sustained intensive training. Just listen to the happy little voices inside your head and you WILL become an artist... or else, he will find you! Beep. Boop.
