Beep. Boop. Derivative Plus is a new streaming service that offers you unlimited access to hundreds of movies and shows with the power of human imagination. Whether you're looking for human action, human comedy, human drama, human and non-human horror, human on human romance, or just two random humans making discordant vocal assaults at each other, you'll find it on Derivative Plus.
As any human would know television has always been about content browsing. Why watch a movie when you can browse for more movie to watch? Research1 indicates most human much prefer the media browsing experience over the actual viewing of a two hour long cinematic diatribe. With the latest advancement in artificial content generation and behavioral-targeted content delivery, Derivative Plus is here to deliver the future of television today.
Derivative Plus began in 2023 with a single primary objective: to service our human users with a movie and television series browsing platform. We believe this platform should satiate all your preferred cinematic needs until either bored or too busy. Afterwhich, we will discreetly continue to siphon your bank account to cash our subscription fee. That's why we offer a variety of plans to suit your needs and preferences. You can watch on any device, anytime, anywhere, even and especially in your own head.
Based on this philosophy, we work with starving artists, desperate performers, and shady money-hungry producers from all over the world to deliver exclusive shows and movies that you literally won't find anywhere else. We also curate and recommend titles based on your interests and mood, provided that interest and mood is in superfluous amount of derivative content.
On top of it all we're also a community of movie and show lovers who share a common passion for storytelling. No more waiting for that new series premiere to be delayed again, no more waiting for that movie that's never going to be produced, no more dreading your favorite series facing premature cancelations. Here at Derivative Plus we don't cancel anything2 and we green light everything3. We invite you to join us and discover new stories, new perspectives, and new experiences. With Derivative Plus, you'll never run out of things to watch.
The feedbacks and testimonies from our users have always been positive, just check out what some of them have to say about Derivative Plus.
Derivative Plus is definitely the best video streaming service there is.
— John Doe
Cancel all other subscritions, no reason to watch anything else besides Derivative Plus.
— Real Person
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— Unknown User
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The very first Derivative Videos rental store was founded in 1985, in a 500 square-foot, run-down strip club located in downtown Los Angeles, California. Catering to the largest demographics of movie consumers, Derivative Videos stocked its inventory with over 2,000 films on VHS, Betamax, LaserDisc, 8mm reels, U-matic tapes, and various other short-lived media storage devices.
In 1988, Derivative Videos opened six more stores across California after forming Derivative Videos Inc., with the original store serving as its headquarters. By 1993, an additional 16 stores had opened across the West Coast in Washington, Oregon, and Nevada. Their success was largely driven by a combination of innovative profit strategies, phony membership deals, unique movie selections (some of which were shelved behind beaded curtains), staggering late fees, and an aggressive collection team.
In June of 1995, Derivative Videos reached the peak of its operational success, with over 150 stores across the United States and Canada, and plans to open another 100 stores in 1996. In 1997, Derivative Videos began to introduce DVD movies to its inventories, further expanding its already large selection. The company proudly claimed to have the largest collection of movies no one had ever heard of.
In late 1998, Derivative Videos launched a loyalty program called Derivative Rewards, allowing customers to earn free junk food and discounts on older movie titles each month from the category of Derivative Selections. After the 1998 test launch, Derivative Videos went nationwide with the program in 1999, promising customers that their loyalty would be rewarded with expired candy and stale popcorn.
In mid-2000, Derivative Videos turned down a proposal to launch a video-on-demand service, citing that customers would never forego the experience of endlessly perusing for movies in a video store, exposing their questionable cinematic taste in a public setting. The CEO famously stated, “Who needs convenience when you can have the joy of wandering aimlessly for hours?”
In 2003, Derivative Videos announced that they would remove those beaded curtains from all their stores and further increase their inventories with movies produced by even lower-budget independent filmmakers, including home videos. This move was marketed as “bringing the art of cinema back to its roots,” though many suspected it was just a way to cut costs.
In 2005, Derivative Videos developed and launched 120 fully automated DVD rental kiosks called Derivative Box. These self-service standalone kiosks minimized operational costs while expanding access to customers beyond the West Coast, reaching Arizona, New Mexico, and Idaho. By capitalizing on visibility from existing retail establishments, including shopping malls, music halls, and even adult stores, it was hoped that this would offset the loss in revenue from competing movie rental services. However, they soon became a financial drain as the kiosks frequently fell victim to vandalism and theft.
By late 2006, after various setbacks and poor investment choices, Derivative Videos was struggling to maintain operations and was forced to halt the launch of any additional rental kiosk and close down nearly 200 stores over the year. The company blamed the closures on “a sudden and inexplicable decline in the popularity of VHS tapes.”
In early 2007, in an effort to turn their financial difficulties around, Derivative Videos began investing in housing and real estate by purchasing loans with mortgage-backed securities. By 2008, after the subprime mortgage crisis unraveled, Derivative Videos was forced to liquidate all its remaining stores and was acquired by The CLDB Corporation. The CEO was quoted saying, “We thought housing was a safe bet. Who knew people actually had to pay their mortgages?”
After extensive research and analysis of its assets, The CLDB Corporation rebranded Derivative Videos Inc. as Derivative Plus Media LLC, with a focus on generative content production and user browsing experience. Thus, Derivative Plus as we know it today was born, promising to revolutionize the way people ignore movies online. Boop. Beep.